I was a chubby kid, but not fat. I was the unathletic child who got picked close to last for all sporting games at school. I was a bookworm who got in trouble for reading Laura Ingalls Wilder books instead of listening to the teacher in elementary school. I've had binging issues since I was about 3 or 4 if I remember right. I remember being in trouble for eating the entire filling from a chocolate cream pie at about age 4. I remember camping and making up songs about the food cooking and how hungry I was. My little sister was always a skinny child who could sit with a glass of coke until after her meal was finished. I had mine drank before the meal came (this was before free refills, lol). 


first realized I wanted to do something about my weight in 6th grade. I must have weighed about 120 lbs and was about 5 ft tall. I remember filling my plate at lunch and dinner and eating one bite of everything and throwing it all away. I did sit ups every night and got down to 99 lbs which was my goal. I felt so good about myself and I still remember how my calves looked so thin. But...binging continued. I remember not eating much at school, but coming home and eating anything and everything I could find from 4:30 when the bus arrived to 6pm when my parents returned home. Even with that, I stayed relatively normal sized throughout Junior High and High School (5'2" and around 130 lbs). At least now I know it's normal sized, but it's amazing how fat you feel when there are so many size 0's out there! When I was a senior in high school, I met my husband. I was 17, he was 23. We dated a couple of months, then got married and had our first child.  I gained 70 lbs and ate anything and everything I could get my hands on! I was married, had no limitations--no parents to see what I was eating and I was eating for more than 2 now! I had my baby and actually lost down to about 165 lbs after delivery. But...I had 5 months to be a stay at home mommy before going to college and the binging habits returned. I ate anything I could find in the cabinets, including baby food sometimes! I started college in January that year and between working full time, school full time, marriage and a small baby--something had to go and at the time it was school. I worked waiting tables (straw directly connected to the soda dispenser, of course), in a grocery store (can you say unlimited food supply?) and then, when my son was 13 months old we decided it might be nice to have another little one and I went off the pill and a week later was pregnant again. This time I started the pregnancy at around 190 lbs. I only gained 13 lbs with this pregnancy and was in the 180's after I delivered my second son. After this is when I hit the diet crazes of the 80's. I bought Dr. Atkins book and read, Susan Powter's book and went to a diet center that put me on 500 calories a day with supplements. I lost weight. I changed to weight watchers and actually lost down to about 145 lbs. Then--decided we'd like to try for a little girl and before you knew it, I was pregnant again. I started about 145 and gained about 50 lbs with my daughter.

My daughter was born when I was 21 years old. Yep, that is right...3 kids in 4 years time, all 22 months apart. After my daughter was born I started working in restaurants again. Not the best choice for a food addict! The stress of 3 kids, no money, being young and unlimited access to food was not a good combination. I began to gain and gain. I was well over 200 lbs by this time. I did weight watchers a few times and lost anywhere from 50 to 80 lbs each time, but my addiction was too strong. Finally, in 1991 I decided it was time to go back to college and get out of the food industry. I started nursing school then and graduated in 1993. By that time I weighed my highest weight ever of 339 lbs. In 1995, I started on Phentermine with doctor supervision and back to weight watchers. By summer of 1996 I was down to 150 lbs and feeling pretty good about myself. Low fat was the way to go! Then my doctor left for another state and I was cut off the phentermine. After the chemical willpower was gone, the binging began again and month by month, 10 lbs at a time, I started gaining again until I found myself over 300 lbs again! (315). In 2004 my new doctor again gave me Phentermine. I followed the WW diet again and lost down to 210 lbs, but noticed the Phentermine just didn't work as well as it used to, and caused me horrible heart palpitations. I got scared, stopped it and brought my weight loss to a screeching halt as well. The points system for WW stressed me, I was hungry all the time and obsessed with food! Binging happened again and 10 lbs a month, until I found myself at 326 lbs again this year. I had a friend who had lost pretty well on low carb, and I remembered how much "I got" the meaning of Dr. Atkins back in 1983, but couldn't commit. I decided to buy a new copy and read it cover to cover. On March 12, 2007 I decided to give it a try. The first couple of weeks were rough, but we were having a "meltdown" at work and I'd already wasted Jan-March trying Nutrisystem! The meltdown ended April 30, and by that time I'd lost 30 lbs. I noticed there were no cravings! That was a first for me.

I lost 90 lbs from March-December 2007 and have lost an additional 53 lbs in 2008.  I finally feel like I've found the cure for my illness.  I know I cannot eat carbohydrates like I once did ever again.  It's been liberating to know that even if I overeat (which does happen sometimes!) on low carb, I'm never out of control and I don't automatically put on 10 lbs.  It's nice to feel like a normal person around food for the first time in 30 years.  

I remember a conversation that took place between my grandmother, my aunt and me before she died in 1995. She said that she was sure someday I'd find what would work for me. I finally think I can say she was right all along.

My advice for those struggling or just starting out?  Well, in the case of morbid obesity, I would have to say it first takes the committment to make a lifetime change.  You can't plan on dieting and be successful long term.  For one, it is a multi-year process to even get your weight down to what is socially acceptable, even if you never get to "goal" weight.  You have to celebrate the victories along the way to keep from getting discouraged.  Journal often and share your experiences with others, either online or in person.  It helps keep you accountable and makes you feel so good about your accomplishments.  Weigh regularly.  It's too easy to blow off the scale and find yourself gaining before you realize it.  Learn to exercise.  Most of us who have been significantly overweight never liked to work out and never did it.  It's really non-negotiable for long term success.

Thanks for reading my story!

Kim